Dear "ass munch (or munches) who stole my bike":
Hello. You don't know me but tonight you screwed me over by stealing my bike. You, or another asshole a lot like you stole the really nice bike I bought two years ago. This year I bought a crappy canadian tire bike hoping that would make you not steal it. But I was wrong. Clearly there is no end to your ass munching idiocy. I really don't understand how stealing my bike could benefit you. It isn't a very good bike, so you'll get very little money for it. The parts aren't worth very much, and there was nothing fancy attatched to my bike. This leaves me only two ideas:
1) You needed to get home really fast or...
2) You just stole it for the sake of stealing.
Since you were walking around with a pair of bolt cutters i'm going to think it's #2. Is your life really that boring and pathetic that you feel a need to prove the need for your existence by stealing my bike? Do you realize how stupid that is? How stupid you are? You're the kind of person who makes people wonder why they bother getting up in the morning.
You are shit.
Yours truly,
- Matt
1 comment:
1. Refer to Stu's recent entry comment section.
2. Bikes get stolen here, too, on UBC campus. I guess bike thieves are just everywhere these days.
Post a Comment